Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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