she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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