in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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