i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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