Buhtt sex?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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