the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
