The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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