South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just invented taco cereal.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
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