i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize