he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
