but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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