is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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