Do you still have your period?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
