Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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