This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
