Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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