If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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