don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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