Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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