Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
