..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize