eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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