Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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