she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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