She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
