the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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