So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
