Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
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you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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