so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
