I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
