Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
