im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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