you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
