sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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