just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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