White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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