just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
