I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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