Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize