Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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