I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize