You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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