erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
4 words: hood of his car
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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