That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
