im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
