Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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