Apparently you make a good broom.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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