Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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