He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
