I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
