dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
