well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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