I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
another moral hangover. fuck.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
