He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
