Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
