Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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