so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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